February 23, 2011
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making choices
Turns out you can choose your family … well on Facebook any way.
Today I made the choice to finally take one of my sisters off my Facebook. Biologically, I have three sisters and one brother. All of them are significantly older than me. I really only communicate with one of my sisters and my brother. The other two … well … I don’t at all. One sister waited until hours before I was to put my family on an airplane nearly three years ago to say the words …. “You can’t stay at my house with out my being here. I don’t know you, I don’t know who you are!” and that was not all that was said, but those words right there STILL cut me to the core in my heart even now, nearly three years later. Some welcome home, let me embrace my niece I haven’t seen in over four years and please let me love on the new niece and nephew that I have not yet met because they were born in another country and were several thousand miles away from me. It has been said to me more than once over the past 2 1/2 years that those may not have been that sisters words, but the words of someone else. Regardless of whose words they are, she said them. And I have not heard anything from her since I hung up the phone all those years ago. Not even an email saying hello and talking to me as if nothing happened. But that’s her loss because I am one incredible sister and she is missing out on the the love of three incredible children. Yes I have chosen this to a degree, but the crux of that conversation was that she was mad at me because I lived MY life, according to MY wants and needs and not HER direction. That’s why I took her off my Facebook … 2 1/2 years ago.
Now the other sister I don’t talk to …. only recently I took her off my Facebook because she had nothing, not one thing positive to say to me ~ about ANYTHING! The one Sister I do speak with, said she was talking to that other one and was asked by her, “why does (Insane Mother of Three) keep deleting my comments on Facebook?” Okay, why not ask me? Why not pick up the phone and ask the horses mouth? She has my email address, why not send me an email? Facebook allows you to send messages to people both on and off your friends list. So once again, another means to contact me, but no. That might require eating humble pie. That might require facing the really REALLY horrible sh*t in your life.
I’m not saying that people can not say difficult things to me, but if there is no balance, why do I need to keep a negative, draining, negative, agghhkkkk influence in my life? Yes of course we all want only the positive, rays of sunshine, everything’s happy people in our lives, but we all know that just doesn’t happen. In to our lives some shadow must fall. I’m okay with that. I’m okay with sometimes hearing the necessary truth, even when its really hard to take. But for my life and that of my children, I am not going to just sit by and let that type of person in my life, over take my life. I’m big enough and ugly enough to raise my children as I see fit, stand on my own two God given and strengthened legs and feet, and I will choose who is in my life and why. The fact that you are related to me by blood, that doesn’t matter. I will choose my sisters and they will be sisters that bring balance to the table. They will be the ones who praise my accomplishments, remind me of my truths, wipe my tears when I cry, and hold me up when I can’t stand. And they will love me for who I am and the balance I bring to their lives.
