August 31, 2012
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I’m a Survivor …
Recently in the news there was a young woman who was horrifically attacked by her boyfriend. She is currently in a medically induced coma as her boyfriend had disfigured her face by attacking her with acid during an argument that happened after they had hosted friends in the home they lived in together. Three years ago, that could have been me.
For five and a half years I lived in a volatile marriage. My then husband was an incredibly wonderful man … sober. When he drank, not so much. Too many times to count I was the object of his rage for hours on end. Too many times, the result was not pretty and no amount of makeup could cover the bruises, cuts and split lips. I still cannot hear the sound of a carbonated drink can being opened and not feel dread flood my body, no matter what the social situation or the level of my own personal safety.
Today, I live without him in my life and that of my children. I tried to assist him in getting help. Even after I left, I tried to be supportive. But there was always the underlying fear. My husband could go many days, even weeks and months without drinking. But there was always a fear that I would never be safe if he drank again. Only he can answer why I was the object of his rage. Specifically. And not because I hadn’t got the dishes done quickly after dinner, or the floor mopped more than once a week.
It was not easy to leave. It was not easy reporting to the police the beatings and abuse that has happened over the years. It has not been easy to get help for me and the children and move forward. The choices were clear, stay and possibly be killed, or leave and live. I chose life. There is always struggles in life, some greater than others. There is always choices to make, some easier than others. The hardest I of all I think is to overcome and not only to survive difficulties, but to find the strength with in to thrive.
Then, I was a victim. Today, I am a survivor. Today, I thrive.
If you are currently a victim of domestic abuse, which is not limited to just being physically struck. Abuse is verbal, mental, emotional, spiritual and financial as well as being physically hurt. Please get help. Call your local domestic abuse hotline, talk to the voice on the other end, find your inner strength.
